Travelogue Ends – The Flying Dutch Trainee

Upon asking and this time insisting on an aisle seat, I was given one – but in emergency exit row. Little more leg room – I looked at the positive side and made myself comfortable. I was soon joined by a very enthusiastic Dutch man who was going to India. Vacation? No, home. You? For training. Er, what? Training. What kind of training? Computer training. Really, that’s interesting.

He was a software professional and was interested in learning something which would further his position in his current company. The course in the US was cancelled and he was asked if he would be interested in a course conducted in Mumbai…. Good Hotel with breakfast and dinner included, personal attention and coaching – what more could he have asked for – said he. We then talked about schooling in Holland, his English proficiency, my English proficiency, schooling in India, IT industry and such. He was surprised, I had to fill in an immigration form – when I go back to Holland, I will not have to fill anything – he asserted Tavleen Singh style. I shrugged. Like a good host, I explained him what happens once we get off the plane and he shared some of his Dutch crossword books and mints with me. I hope he found the training useful.

Travelogue 10 – Scared in London

An hour and a quarter train ride later I saw the smiling face of V welcoming me. The conversation drifted on many topics and we caught up as much as we could in a short span of three hours. The conversation topic was mainly comparison of the lifestyles on two opposite coasts of Atlantic. V and P did not like many things in this new country! And I could imagine why. The houses are small, getting into leases and maintenance thereafter is complicated and overall lifestyle is expensive. I was told some amazing things – the quality of television programs (that horrible channel called Star News included – I couldn’t agree more), fish being expensive despite of so much of sea around, ease of getting around for P because of buses and trains and such. What came later did not have me prepared. It appears the biggest hobby of many Britons is to get drunk on weekends. They drink copious amounts of beer and get rowdy on the streets. When they are not drunk, they smoke and the wait at the bus stop is like smoking many cigarettes yourself – P told me. On the weekends, brawls and fights on the city roads are not uncommon. Though gun control is strict, happy slapping and stabbing are common. It all depends on the community you live in of course. So, nice houses with less rent are not very exciting because they are usually in a neighborhood that would make you think twice before setting foot out after sunset.

I was shown the spot where a few people have been stabbed since V and P moved in (they do not live close to the spot it just happened to be on the way). But nothing to be scared about – we are not even going in the area! Well, but you guys are scaring me. I have a walk of 20 minutes after I get out of the tube. Ah yes, be careful. You know, take the usual precaution – walk fast, do not make eye contact. Yeah, that was very reassuring.

I did not mind it until I realized something. I took the 2117 train from a station that V described as smaller than Matheran. And small it was. The train arrived on time and I believe I was the only person who got in the train. Afterwards I realized I was all alone in the compartment. Should I be worried? I mean if something happened…there was no one to tell the story! So I moved to another compartment, which was empty too! It was next to the first class compartment and the train attendant was in that area. At least there was other human being. I wasn’t sure if I should be scared that there was someone around or should be scared that there wasn’t anyone around. The twilight was fast fading away and the train kept making its usual stops at times noted in the timetable. I quickly charted my path. Get down at interchange for tube, take District line, and change to Piccadilly line and get down at the destination and walk really fast!

Eventually, I reached the station. A few people did get down and about 10-15 of us walked towards the “Way Out” sign and started walking out. Only three of us walked in the direction I wanted to go. One guy though turned left immediately and then there were two! I increased my pace but realized it was important to maintain a healthy distance between that person and me. But wait – he is turning! And he turned. Now, I was alone on the dual carriageway! No one in front of me as far as I could see. I looked over my shoulder and found someone walking behind me. All right, take a deep breath, walk fast and don’t be scared. The tales of stabbing and happy slapping were very fresh in my memory. I increased the pace of my walk…and did not slow down for a long time. My shins were hurting me and finally I decided to slow down. A man and a woman were seen approaching and I had all the evil sights playing in my mind. But nothing happened! They went their way without acknowledging my presence. Then another man and woman crossed the street over to my side. Well, should I be bothered? Aching shins be damned, I increased my pace again. The couple seemed to be following me – joking and laughing loudly. Okay, just walk fast and get over with this – I said to myself. By now, the lights of the hotel were in sight, but I kept my pace. At last, I reached the hotel – heart racing, shins and lower back aching and sweating profusely – I lingered around the hotel entrance a bit. That couple was still following me. I wiped the sweat off my brow and made as dignified entry in the hotel as possible. I stopped by the front desk to confirm my cab booking and wake up call. No sooner, I am done speaking with the concierge than this couple enters the hotel. Ah, so they were not following me, our destination was just the same! May be they realized why I walked fast, may be they didn’t. If they did, it at least gave them a story to tell their friends back home! From the accent, they seemed Americans. I made it a point to stop and say hi to them. At least, now my fears had no ground! My legs and lower back were still hurting, I needed a shower, but I had only three hours of sleep ahead of me and some packing to do…flight early morning tomorrow and I go home! I couldn’t wait to fall asleep.

Travelogue 9 – Urban Decay – Hounslow Style

I had been advised that Post Office is the best option, both by friends and by American Express. In fact, the Amex lady even said, sir, why do you want to pay a charge of about 5% and exchange rate for Traveler’s Checks is usually lower at the airport. Post office is your best bet. God bless her heart! The Lampton post office did not do currency conversion. So, I had to find another post office. I was told of the main post office in Hounslow. Hounslow does not exactly qualify as mini-India, mini-Punjab, mini-Pakistan or anything like that. But it is not uncommon to see Punjabi-dress or saree clad women and to hear an occasional Punjabi sentence with British accent. There also seems to be a lot of urban decay in that area. My walk to the Hounslow Main Post office took me through the neighborhood and back! Shops usurping on the roadway, houses of poor quality, a crowd that would be closer to the south side of Chicago and lots of graffiti on walls. The streets were narrow and footpaths narrower. There was trash on the footpath and many people just loitering around in streets, half-naked and smoking on London’s hottest day this season. Many cars full of teenagers were driving around with blaring music. The post office itself was dirty – waste papers, discarded receipts and dirt adding to the ambience of official ness created by the announcement of “Cashier number n please…,” repeating frequently whenever a cashier was available. I felt a little vulnerable carrying the cash back but that was a necessary conversion.

Travelogue 8 – Her Majesty’s Customs and Sweltering heat in London

After breezing through the immigration at London Heathrow, T4, I picked up my bag and walked through the green channel. Can you step aside sir? Sure. And you are aware that this is the green channel? Yes. I had nothing to hide. But for a sealed packet of microwaveable popcorn. It had some butter and it appears import of Dairy products is prohibited in EU. So that packet was confiscated. As per the rules, I was served a notice and I have one month’s time to appeal against the seizure. Good lord you really have to have my luck to go through something like this!

The day I landed, London was hot. That was the hottest day of the season thus far. 32 C without AC in a wooden building is a lot. The fan did help, but only little bit. As I learnt afterwards, AC (Aey con as they call it) is not a norm in the UK. Fans are more common. They do not need the AC as much and I came to know why the next day. It rained and the temperature dropped to 16 C the next day. Everything cooled down making the need for a fan redundant. That also explained why the terry wool clothing is so common…

Travelogue 7 – On the way back

Waiting at the hotel lobby, a soft-spoken gentleman began talking with me – the normal small talk, where you going and isn’t it cold! It turns out that he is a writer and researching a book on WWII in Moscow. That’s where he was headed. He and a co-author are going to research on the red army and the people in Russia. Two cigarettes later (not me!) I had learnt that his technique was different. He would interview just the common people and learn from them. Unlike a lot of British authors, who rely on archives and gazettes, he found this more suitable. I couldn’t agree more! It appears, he has written a book on some Indian tribe that lived in the Michigan-Ontario area and the oral-history is significantly different from what was known earlier. He was also well-read and was aware of the burgeoning middle-class of India – how the dynamics and economics were changing.

As the luck may have it, our seats were just beside each other, but both of us were trying to catch-up on sleep and couldn’t talk more. I asked for some book recommendations and he did make a list for me! Now, only I have to motivate myself enough to actually read them!

My question about good books resulted in a very long winded answer. At last, he confessed – when you ask a question to an Irish man (his origin), you have to be prepared for a long answer. His father spent time in Burma and China during WWII in the International Red Cross and it was a similar sense of adventure that was now driving him to research this book. He was more interested in the social history of the common man, a sticky point with the publisher, since the publisher wanted him to concentrate only on the red army!

Travelogue 6 – Slow Life in Upper Midwest

Nothing much has changed in the Midwest – the traffic problems, the highway constructions – pretty much the same. Yeah? Yeah betchyaa! Although, I wished I had spent a little more time in Minneapolis downtown and walked in the historic district along the Mississippi.

A trip to the Mall of America

It was mandatory! Only the previous day people said how boring it was to go to the mall. I was told of a new trend; apparently, tourist operators bring people from Paris and London to shop in the Mall of America. People arrive in the afternoon on a Saturday, shop the evening, stay at a hotel that night, shop some more on the Sunday, and return back to work on Monday! Not my idea of fun. And it wasn’t for many people. I was told – don’t even go there, it is just a mall, only imagine a whole lot of it. I should have taken that advice! But, I went their nevertheless and walked around a bit and wondered why did I waste my time? I was so bored over there that I did not even take pictures…

Minnesota in June

I thought since it was almost the end of spring, the weather would be nice. It was for one day. However, the sun soon gave way to clouds and wind. It was so windy that even the blades of grass would sway. The temperature dropped to a cold 57 F and with the wind chill, it felt like 50. I realized what mistake it was to wear shorts and T-Shirt while going to the M of A. I do not want to imagine being caught there in the middle of the winter.

Yoyo championship

The rotunda in the M of A was full of people. And people from the second level were careening over the railing and looking down. Curiosity took over and I also careened over to see what was going on. A bunch of people was sitting on makeshift chairs; a stage was set up and at the other end of the stage a bunch of teenagers waiting for their turn on the stage. The teenager on the stage was swaying a yoyo to the music. My first impression – what a waste! I watched for a few minutes though and realized that only a master can do that. Now if you consider playing a yoyo as waste of time, think again. It was really difficult to do what the teenagers on the stage were doing – making the yoyo dance to the tune of music! You need training to achieve that adroitness! I did not wait to find out who won the competition but it was good entertainment for some time.

Swami Saranam Ayyappa?

With a good percentage of Kerala population in our neighborhood, you often see the Ayyappa-devotees – black lungi, bhasma smeared foreheads, bearded, no shoes and grown hair. The devotees follow some sort of lent in which they worship Ayyappa and follow some rules like daily sermons (bhajan), diet control and celibacy. The lent culminates in a pilgrimage to Sabarimala.

My father had read about this and also about the bountiful nature and freshness of the Sabarimala mountains. Over the years, we befriended the Kerala-Marathi family that lived across the street from ours. In his great Hindi, my father had told the appa once – tumhara ayyappa ko ek baar humko aneka hain (I want to visit Ayyappa once). Appa (as we still fondly call him!) had replied in his equally great Hindi – aao naa, tum ayega to achha hoga (yes, please do come along, it will do you good).

When I came to know about this, I almost had a panic attack. What’s dad been smoking – I remember asking my mother over the phone. But dad did not pay any attention. To see the natural beauty of Sabarimala, he was ready to fast, wear black lungi, smear bhasma and go to bhajans. My mother tells me, it was quite a site. An atheist to the core who has difficulty clapping properly to the tune of aratis was taking part in all this!

Ultimately, my father did complete the trip (I hesitate to use the word pilgrimage here) and enjoyed it too. It intrigued all our Marathi neighbors – who is this Ayyappa? As it turns out, Ayyappa is a progeny of pyromaniac Shankar and transvestite Vishnu. He also turned out to be misogynist. I mean, it is difficult for a child to understand why one has two fathers but for a child it is even more difficult to understand why one of the fathers wears a gaudy make-up and behaves like a mother, when he is not and the other goes setting fires.

And now, you blame Jaymala, a young or rather menstruating woman, for defiling the temple? If Hindu philosphy can accept the existence of Ayyappa, what bad can a lesser mortal like Jaymala do? Really - someone answer that question please.

Travelogue 5 – Lost in Manhattan

Since work has rudely interrupted in the blogging activity, it took me this long to update the Blog. I am still in New York - according to the blog that is - and hope to update more frequently on the remaining travel days. But here it is - how I was lost in Manhattan and still made it back! BTW, it is not uncommon for people to push you aside in Manhattan - a typical Mumbai style dhakka if you are walking slowly!

While coming back from 86th street, I did a trip in two goes – walk down the Central Park up to 70th and Columbia Ave, then take the metro up to Canal Street. From here, I had to walk to the WTC PATH. But the moment I got out at Canal Street, I was confused. There were many different streets going in as many directions – Canal, W Broadway, 6th Avenue and such. It was a confusing maze of streets. Which way to Church Street? I had picked up a cheap map without all the street names (the one that was available for free at the hotel). This did not show all the streets and that added to confusion. I started walking intuitively. When most of the streets crisscross north-south and east-west, finding directions is easy except for Broadway and 6th Avenue which do not conform to this rule. As I start walking, I realize this might not be the right direction. It was confirmed when I saw signs for Holland tunnel…okay, opposite direction. But the streets names are not familiar. Neither were they on map. I still keep walking – Wooster, Greene…I should see Church St by now. But no Church St yet. Okay, turn and change the direction – Laight St, Beach St, but still no Church St. Then all of a sudden, W Broadway and Beach St intersect. The map never said that! Well, do I believe what I see or what was on the map? Ultimately, I gave up and asked at a toy shop and I was led in the right direction. Only later, I realized that W Broadway and Beach Street did intersect but they were not shown on the map because W Broadway and Broadway were two different streets! And all the time I was walking on W Broadway, assuming it was Broadway. Never pick up a free map!

Travelogue 4 – Meeting S, N and T

Since the last time I met S and N, T has been added to the family. The one and a half year old was excited to meet an unknown face called “uncle”. He showed me sun, shadows, introduced me to his toy animals, and we also played a very exciting game where I would lay the toy animals on the sofa and he would throw them on the carpet with much excitement. Not sure, who entertained whom, but T was very happy!

On my way to S’ home, I took the NJTransit in rush hour. And was it crowded! Well, it was not as crowded as the 6:18 Kasara fast, but perhaps it was crowded enough to qualify as 8:11 Ambernath fast at Dadar. People were standing close to each other and making way for those who wanted to get down at intermediate stations.

I heard stories like it takes me 2 hours to reach office – 20 minutes drive into Trenton, almost an hour to New York, and 20 more minutes from there…but I digress. S used to stay in a swanky apartment overlooking Hudson. He gave that up so that finally life would be more like America and less like Mumbai. That gives N and T a large apartment complex neighborhood and an opportunity to ride the tricycle!

On my way back, S dropped me. He was in a mood to talk, and me in a mood to sleep. The jet lag was finally getting me. The nice guy that S is, he let me sleep in the car and only woke me up when the directions became confusing. We did not want to get lost in the middle of the night! We bid farewell with a promise to be in touch more regularly.

Travelogue 3 – Fast Life in New York, New York

The Newark Penn Station, the WTC PATH terminal and hordes of people was a reminder of every morning in Mumbai. Just as people make their way to right platforms – going in to VT or Church Gate every morning in Mumbai, people were walking towards their tracks for NJTransit, PATH or Acela trains. It was nice! Things were moving fast!

One more observation about New Yorkers was their behavior in the elevator. Once everyone was in the elevator and the right buttons for floors pressed, someone would press the close-the-doors button immediately. Who has time to wait for five seconds before the doors close automatically?! Double nice!

In Manhattan, I followed the old routine. Get a subway ticket, but get out of the metro a few stops before and walk down the road! It was enjoyable. Except for the heavy rains and plummeting temperatures on the day of departure, it went well! No pictures to share though….

Travelogue 2 – So close to urban decay

Last post, I promised not to whine. At least, if I do, I will bring some cheese along. Okay, bad joke. But, I have to write about the urban decay of that dead town of Newark. I chose a hotel close to the Airport and Newark Penn Station hoping that commute would be easier. While that was the case, the location was so desolate and dead, that the urban decay couldn’t be more pronounced. There was nothing – NOTHING – around the hotel. Again and again, I felt bad that all the rooms in the hotel near Journal Square were sold out.

And nothing comes in New York/New Jersey for free! The hotel charged for a ride to Newark Penn Station, which I thought was wrong. Gone are the days of gas at 69 cents a gallon.

The magic of hopelessness

Are we really catching up with China? In his article, Partha Iyengar, the Research Vice President at Gatner Inc. writes

WITH NO DISCIPLINE OR ACCOUNTABILITY OF THE BUREAUCRATS AND POLITICIANS, IT IS NOW FOR THE PEOPLE TO GIVE THEM A WAKE-UP CALL

He compares

ALL this talk about India catching up with China is just a pipe-dream. The Chinese can put up a complex multi-tier flyover (like the one in the picture) in 6 months and in Pune, we can’t even get a simple straight elevated road done in 3 years!

He rightly chastises Pune Municipal Corporation by saying

The latest gem of an example that starkly brings into focus the lack of capabilities is the PMC’s absolutely ludicrous statement that ALL the roads are in the same pathetic state because they were surprised by the early arrival of the rains.

How early were the rains? One week. And this in a country whose engineering talent in places like Bangalore, Pune etc is the talk of the world today.

Blows apart the claims

And when any comparison with China comes up, our political clowns trot out the time and tested — ‘‘but we are a democracy’’ fig leaf.

Raises many valid questions

How do these people get away with these moral crimes? Why can’t we get more active and try and make these people accountable? What do we need to do to have a Baramati or Nagpur happen in Pune? What can be done to try and achieve this in our city?

And also offers a few answers. Some are workable, some are not. But I strongly recommend you read the article The Magic of Chongqing or hopeless leadership in Pune?

The murder most foul or what?

The Startrubine.com on Sunday June 11 published an article about the “shock and awe” – 40 feet crater shows power of Al-Zarqawi bombs.

The article says:

The two 500-pound bombs that killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi pulverized the brick house where he spent his final minutes, vaporizing walls and the foundation, hurling concrete blocks 300 feet into the weeds and blasting a crater 40 feet wide and deep.

"A big hole, sir," said Sgt. Maj. Gary Rimpley, 46, of Penrose, Colo., who reached the scene about 90 minutes after the bombs fell.

Now no one doubts that Zarqawi was a bad guy but there are some questions about the way it was dealt with.

What is the reason for summary justice? What happened to a commission like Nuremberg trials? And why not apply at least some humanitarian concepts to GITMO? And why not hold the proper authorities accountable? But reason and logic are not strong points of the Bush Administration and hence all the shock and awe. Is it just a coincidence that Fidel Castro rules rest of the Island?

A travelogue you shouldn’t care to read

After the appalling experience of 32E, the flight on the next leg was pleasant. I have traveled in only two European partner airlines, Air France and KLM, and I believe the European partners take better care of the passengers. The flight attendants are soft spoken, the aircraft better maintained, food quality is slightly better and since most of the aircrafts are new, the in-flight entertainment is naturally better – there is a TV screen right there in the seat in front of you and program choice is yours! Compare that with the Indian leg – common screens that are not visible from all the seats and a dismal selection of movies. The flight attendants are rude, not to mention their gaudy make-ups, the food is barely edible and flight timings so odd that it appears they are designed to enhance your jet lag!

On the domestic flights, NW charges for the pack of pretzels $1 or snack box $4. Call me cheap if you will, but I am not going to buy that. Just a cup of water will be fine thank you.

All right, from now on, I shall not whine.

What happens if you forget your cell phone charger?

Just ask the front-desk! The cheerful concierge produced a box of chargers that other guests “forgot” in the rooms for people like me….

Well, actually, I did not forget the charger; I forgot the plug-pin converter that would allow the Indian plug to fit into US socket.

For what its worth

Sun set at Mahabaleshwar, a small trip I took in December


And the white chapha tree in late spring in Pune

32E

For all the flying I have done, I have been very faithful to Delta. So much, that one of the flight attendants, Sunanda Braganza even recognizes me whenever I board a flight in Mumbai or Paris. And being a medallion passenger has its own advantages.

This time though, it was time to break the tradition. I was booked on KLM/Northwest and true to my nature, I was apprehensive about the service.

The ride from Pune to Mumbai was uneventful. And so was the security check before check in. For some reason, the security guy wanted to know who will come pick me up at the airport in US. Yeah, who? The complimentary bus service from the hotel!

Upon check-in, I asked for an aisle and Prithpal, the check-in agent started punching so many keys on his computer that it was a harbinger of things to come. I was politely refused an aisle seat and that’s why the frustration coming out at the Wi-Fi zone of Schiphol!

MD-11 design is weird. Nay, it is made to frustrate the passengers and restrict their movements giving a good reason for deep vein thrombosis. Who ever makes a plane where five people sit in a row? And who ever assigns the seat smack in the middle of this row to me? Why me? Why the 38 unlucky people who shared the same fate as I did? As soon as I sat down on the seat, I felt like cramped down. As luck may have it, the passenger on my right was metabolically challenged and a game of elbonics ensued! We were both wrestling for the elbow-rest. Her elbow being so large, it did not leave me even a millimeter….

Then the food and beverage service – I never knew who was going to serve me – the flight attendant on the left or on the right? I was thirsty. But the flight attendant on the left ignored me and went ahead. Welcome to the club of middle-seat MD-10 under-achievers!

The flight attendant on the right was still 3-4 rows behind and I was thirsty! I hoped I would be visible to her. At last, I was given the chicken sandwich and a glass of 7-UP. See, no Sprite – NW already loses its marks, and now it is hurting itself even more.

When they come to collect the trash, the lady on right – who served me – now ignores me! So does the lady on the left. Hey – there is something here you came looking for…don’t ignore me!

When the breakfast comes at the break of the dawn, the lady on right – Prin – interrupts my music and asks – Egg or Veggie? Egg please. Orange Juice? Please, thank you. When Antoinette, walks on the left, Coffee? Coffee? Coffee? Me = invisible! When she walks on the right, Coffee? Coffee? Coffee? Me = invisible. When she walks on the left, Tea? Tea? Tea? Me = suddenly visible. But I wanted Coffee! I will get some for you sir. Thanks.

When Julienne collects trash, me = invisible. When Prin collects trash, again, me = invisible. God, why did you make that E seat on MD-10?

Now about the in-flight entertainment – the magazine, in Japanese! Japanese you ask? Yes. Japanese! If you read Japanese, please travel via Northwest. The movie, there wasn’t any. Oh, wait – there was. But for the screen position, all I could see was Abhishek Bachhan and Ritesh Deshmukh from chin-up (not that I was sorry, but since I am complaining, why not one more?). And radio? I could never figure out the channel number because the control was so weird – made by the right-handers, for the right-handers. And since I could not figure out the channel number, going back to what I was listening awhile ago took many guesses. The food was barely average, but then we are used to it anyway…

Schiphol airport though was a pleasant experience. The walkways are wide, shops are nice (but costly) and transfers are easier than Charles de Gaulle transfers are. The Wi-Fi service is not free. Again, I don’t ask why – they may have their own reasons.

n.b. penned at Schiphol, posted from Newark

Planning and Apes

Apes Shown to Be Able to Plan Ahead

This reaffirms the view of many programmers that my manager is nothing more than a monkey!

Of immigrants and illegal immigrants

So, International Labor Day was also the Immigrant Monday in the US. Sometime back, the NPR dealt with the problem through the eyes of minority community comedians (Margaret Cho, Paul Rodriguez and Bernie Mac). Paul Rodriguez was up front in his views – you pick your own tomatoes, clean the dishes etc. and you won’t need cheap Mexican labor – he said. And largely the illegal immigrants work in low paying mundane jobs and live in conditions that are barely better than ghettos.

On the other side of this is another community of immigrants – especially in the US who have gone there as students or professionals working in high paying jobs. Majority of the students who go to the US for higher studies are of Asian origin (read India and China). Most of them get good jobs in premier companies and tend to stick around in the US permanently and also the skilled engineers and programmers how have taken the advantage of the H1B visas. It must be accepted that the US has a rather generous immigration policy. But off late, the red tape delays and backlash because of the jobs shifting to Asia and recession may have brought this policy under scanner. When so much is being done for the illegals, how does the Indian community fare? Here are a few points to ponder:

• At least more than 90% of the H1B holders and Green card converts are in the high tax paying bracket.
• They are generally law abiding people and crime rate among the first and second generation Indians is almost zero.
• They ensure their kids go to school, do not do drugs, get good education and also end up in the high tax bracket.
• They do not default on credit card or loan payments, buy houses and contribute to consumer spending, pay taxes on time, invest in stock market (some even short-sell!) contributing positively to the economy.
• They have now even started looking for cars other than Toyota and Honda and also spend on 51” flat screen TVs!
• Their entrepreneurial spirit has created employment for thousands – The M(P)otels and many Bay Area software firms confirm this. They have also contributed well in areas of Space and Science (NASA), Education (many professors) etc.

If the above are not characteristics of good citizens, then what are? While the illegal immigrants are busy boycotting work, will someone pause and note the legal immigrants and their contribution?

Disclaimer: This writer is not and was never a part of the rodent derby of acquiring GC.

Tired, but not out

All-work-and-no-play-Jacks are bringing the grinding rut to a halt. They are TIRED – but definitely not out. This Sunday Indian Express article chronicles a different path taken by the Thirtysomething Independent Radical Educated Drop-outs, who have chosen to opt out of the rodent derby and chase their passion or just chill.

They are plugged into the world and if there is a compelling reason to re-turn to the city, they will. All work and no play has had its day. Chakravarti is part of a growing tribe of urban professionals in their 30s and 40s who are beating the burn-out syndrome just as it seeps in, and exploring alternatives seen as deviant or maverick be-haviour, say a decade ago. They are leaping out of the rat race, grabbing mid-life crisis by its horns and turning it into the life they have always wanted to live. And this new avatar of the classic drop-out is becoming as common as the yup-pie of the early 80s. If you’re educated, liberal, urban, upper middle-class in your late 30s, chances are at least one of your acquaintances is contemplating an alternative.

Need I say more?

Got this as a forward - visit the site before it gets overwhelmed and closed down. And pray that the babus don't close it down as it is...

Government of India has a online Grievance forum at http://darpg-grievance.nic.in/

The government wants people to use this tool to highlight the problems they faced while dealing with Government officials or departments like Passport Office, Electricity board, BSNL/MTNL, Railways etc etc.

I know many people will say that these things don't work in India, but this actually works as one of our colleague in a company found. The guy I'm talking about lives in Faridabad. Couple of months back, the Faridabad Municipal Corporation laid new roads in his area and the residents were very happy about it. But 2 weeks later, BSNL dugged up the newly laid roads to install new cables which annoyed all the residents including this guy. But it was only this guy who used the above listed grievance forum to highlight his concern. And to his surprise, BSNL and Municipal Corporation of faridabad was served a show cause notice and the guy received a copy of the notice in one week. Government has asked the MC and BSNL about the goof up as its clear that both the government departments were not in sync at all.

So use this grievance forum and educate others who don't know about this facility. This way we can at least raise our concerns instead of just talking about the ' System' in India.

Subliminal Advertising

Sometimes, the advertisement is done so smartly, it takes some effort to figure out what it is. Everyone knows music is not the strong point of McDowell’s or Bacardi. But a good way to get away with regulations.

One such ad, not of a product that can come under scanner, in my opinion is made in a very round-about way. What is it about – I remember thinking – even after seeing it for several times. Is it about sun-glasses? Wrist watch? Mobile? Boots? Bike? Guy without stubble? Wait, must be the boots – after all, the jingle in the background does mention something about walking. But um perhaps not…. Is it about the guy with the stubble? His girlfriend? Road? Dam? Water? Bike? Hmm, the jingle now mentions something about the boots…must be the boots.

As it turns out, it is about a bike. Go figure!

What is DD up to?

At one time, the only channel available to the entertainment starved TV watchers was Doordharshan. Now, with a choice of more than 80 odd channels ranging from religion to breaking news, Doordarshan becomes a rare choice. But when cable goes off, there is little else to do…

I called the cable-guy, but got a treatment like a hapless host calling the heater fixing agency when the heater conks off on a chilly Thanksgiving Day. The only channel that somehow managed to show was one DD News. And what fun! Now I am no master of TRP, but I am not so sure if Saturday evening 8 PM is such a good time to show Kisan Vikas Program. Well, but they did!

And what happened then?

There was a well dressed farmer, with a tractor in the opening jingle…Sunil Dutt or Dilip Kumar fame mere desh ki dharti playing in the background. Then Rajiv Gandhi flashed in the background. Then Sonia talking to several farmers and then – hold on for this – Rahul Gandhi with a background of lush green farm. Rahul? RAHUL? No other farmer qualified eh? No Shastri? No Baramatikar? Not even Amitabh, the farmer from UP? Well, good for you farmer Rahul.

Looks like the he is being groomed for the next step…incidentally not based on his deeds, but based on sycophancy. And DD – the faithful servant – is taking good care of it.

That Call

Post lunch – I shouldn’t have eaten all that, now I am feeling tad sleepy. Staring at a meaningless Excel sheet does not help either. When the whole world has started dozing off, suddenly the Budgerigar tone set on my cell phone starts blaring and wakes me up. I mumble an apology to the irritated neighbors; cuss myself for not changing the outdoor profile and search for the phone in the pocket of my trousers where it has been faithfully reducing my sperm count so far. Unknown number. Should I answer it? Quite a predicament. By now, the persistent ringing has also woken up a few more sleepy e-workers. With great trepidation, I answer the phone.

Hello?
Helloooo?
Hello?
Hello…
Yes? – Someone needs to break the monotony, why not me?
Sir you are not in a meeting no?
Huh? What?
No sir, I mean you are not in a meeting no?
What? Who is this? And why are you calling me?
No sir, I just wanted to know sir…
What? How does that matter?

By now, I have a good idea of what the situation is and where the conversation is going…

Sir, what is your name sir?
I am kau…wait, you called, you should know…
No sir, if I can know your name no, then we can talk sir.
Well, what do you want? – I show some spine
No sir, I am calling from XYZ bank sir and we have this personal loan that we offer
(I interrupt)
I am sorry, but I am not interested in a personal loan.
But why sir?
How is that relevant? I am not interested in a personal loan right now. – I have forgotten all the courteousness and patience by now
But sir at least hear the offer no.
YAWN huh
Sir it is really good offer sir
Okay go on
Sir in this offer sir you will get personal loan of Rs. 50,000 sir and it will be at very low interest rate sir.
What is the interest rate? – I need her to pick up the bait.
Sir it is very low sir. Other banks are having much more sir. But since you are qualified in the offer sir, we have the interest rate of 12% only sir.
WHAT? 12 PERCENT? – People in 10km radius are wide awake now
Sir that is very low sir, other banks are having much more sir
12 per cent is too high. And as I told you, I am reaaaalllly not interested in a personal loan. Sorry.
But sir, it is very low interest rate sir.
I don’t think it is low.
Sir then how much you want sir?
I told you, I don’t want a personal loan
But sir, if you want a loan sir then what interest rate you want sir?
ZERO

Exasperation has started trickling in slowly. While I feel sorry for the telemarketer and her daily targets, I have also started appreciating her patience and broken-record technique.

No sir, zero is not possible no – Her tone too has also changed now. But I cannot figure out what is going on in her head.
Well, you asked…
Sir, if you take the loan sir, then you can use it for furniture or painting no sir.
I am not planning for any furniture or painting.
Then any marriage sir?
Huh? What?
No sir, if you are marrying in the family sir, then you can take the loan no.
Are you from Kentucky?
What sir?
Ma’am, I am really not interested in a personal loan.
But sir, if you want personal loan sir, then please call at 98XXXXXXXX sir.
Okay. Thanks.
Sir, are your any friends interested in personal loan sir? If you can give me their mobile number…
I don’t think so
Sir no one sir?
No.
Okay sir, but if you want personal loan you will call no sir?
Yes Thanks.
Okay sir, Thank you

Benefit of Mandatory Power Cuts

There is one…for the two and a half hour that I cannot watch TV, at least I read something! The book that has been gathering dust for some time was opened over the weekend and several pages consumed. Some day, I hope to write more about the book.

Arghhh!

The use of phrase between…to should be made a punishable crime and offenders sent to prison with access only to copies of Wren and Martin.

JL Gomes kokaNeetyla khabaro deta…

For a long time, radio played an important role in our household. My aji (grandmother) had outlived her own retina and was almost blind by then. An avid reader, she had taken that brunt of nature with a rather stoic demeanor. The age had also deprived her of sleep. She would wake up early with nothing better to do. Not able to see the old clock on her night stand, she would turn on the radio; only white noise and no birds chirping yet – turn the radio off and wait in darkness and silence. This episode would repeat in the wee hours of every morning, till the birds started chirping and till the All India Radio started playing the mandatory beep. This beep would wake my sister or me up sometimes. “ajoon veL ahey – 5-10 miniTa taree” (5-10 more minutes) we would tell her in sleepy voices glancing towards the clock. But rarely did she miss the opening tune of akaash waaNee (As Radio is known in India). Then the national anthem (compulsions of state run media), news in Hindi followed by news in Sanskrit and then in Marathi. Weather Report. Advice for Farmers. That was the alarm when my parents would wake up. My sister and I would doze off; listening to the radio in the background and hoping mom would allow us to sleep some more…. Many different and good quality programs on Medium Wave 535 – Bombay B would follow. Devotional Songs, swasthya seva (health advice), prabhate manee (program on news analysis), regional news, national news, programs for kids etc.

Living in far off suburbs of Mumbai can be painful. The commute is long and tiring. The merciless train schedule did not allow simple pleasure of waking up a few minutes late…. But we learned to manage it all. The radio running in the background was a constant reminder of what time it was. And so it was for countless families.

Ah, devotional songs – time for bath. News started already, stepping out of bath – too late, better hurry up now. The schedule was bound rigidly to the clock. The radio would tell time – whether you needed to come up with some excuse for being late to school or there still was some time to finish reading that newspaper column.

After running continuously for two hours, the news in Konkani would start, always with a deep baritone voice of one JL Gomes – Mumbai aNi Panaji, JL Gomes kokaNeetyla khabaro deta (JL Gomes reading the Konkani news for listeners from Mumbai and Panaji). With that declaration, the radio would be turned off. It would be bright outside by now and half of our town would be speeding towards south Mumbai. The frail silhouette of my aji would then set out on much traveled pathways inside our home and complete her chores.

The days of radio are long gone. Despite of many good programs, it seems the radio utterly failed to tackle the brutal invasion of TV channels and my aji was long gone before the radio in our home conked off and was forgotten.

Despite of the fact I see a lot of TV; I have retained some affinity for the radio. There was one winter when I lived without TV. And Radio helped! In the morning, it would be Morning Edition (of course!) and in the evening, it would be All Things Considered. And then the Market Place, Radio Mystery Theater and countless symphonies and concertos and chamber music. Weekends would be enjoyed with Weekend Morning Edition, Car Talk, Sunday Baroque, Saint Paul Sunday, From the Top, A Prairie Home Companion and Weekend All Things Considered.

Eventually TV invaded again with a resounding defeat of the radio. And I still miss telling time by radio!

Pinch them where it hurts the most

It was my first Memorial Day weekend – a holiday I was not aware of so far. Even though it was May end, the air was cool. I was only a month old in the US and was starting to feel homesick. My cousin thought this was a good opportunity for me to visit him. Since I was car less till then, the question was how…. A generous acquaintance was ready to drop me. Unaware of the car and driving culture, I was hesitating to accept the offer. After all, how could I travel with this guy? But my cousin convinced me – he is coming this way, anyway, why do you worry? Well, you live near Flint, he has to go to Dear Born – that is more than 20 miles – I remember being worried about the last leg of my journey. Incidentally, I was not worried about the first 300 miles! After some convincing and some coaxing and some down-right threatening (older cousins, anyone?) I was on my way.

The landscape did not change much as we started traveling north. But the “Bridge Freezes before Roadway” signs became more ubiquitous. Even when the road was empty, the speedometer would not cross the mark of 70 MPH. At last, I dared to ask – can we not go faster? The driver laughed. His laughter had American accent but his Marathi was as crisp as someone from Thane was! He went on to explain me why he would not exceed that speed. It wasn’t the speed that scared him. It was the fear of getting a ticket. He explained to an FOB like me how the insurance system worked. How your SSN tied back to the driving history and how the cost of insurance went up, as you became a high risk driver etc. One sentence made an impact on my mind – “They pinch you, where it hurts most.” I took that route several times afterwards and drove around a lot. But never forgot about the first lesson – you get pinched where it hurts most!

Why do I remember this? Well, as you may be aware, my old friend George W Bush (who I claim reads my Blog) was in India last week. His visit brought many CEOs, diplomats, new killer agreement, cooperation in agriculture and tongue-in-cheek blessings to outsourcing etc. It also brought out the Muslims and Leftists to protest, what they considered the grotesque presence of an Islam-hater-mass-murderer. And with that came desecration of public property – be it Mumbai, Delhi or Lucknow. What difference did it make to George W Bush if VT station was defiled or Lucknow burnt? And that’s where I want to pinch the protestors. Sue the hell out of them. Apply the Pottery Barn rule – you break it, you buy it. After all, if VT station or public property in Lucknow is broken, who pays for fixing it? If my taxes do, then what is my fault that some lunatic thought it was a good idea to bring a big stone to this protest meeting? In a world as complicated as ours, we cannot expect everyone to agree. There will be difference of opinion and people will want to protest what they disagree. But do not protest at my cost! If the Communist Party or some Islamic organization sponsored the protests, slap a huge fine on them for the damage caused by riots. After all, do we not hold the parties/unions responsible for the uniquely Indian phenomenon of bandh?

(For the record - I would have written this post even if BJP/Shiv Sena were responsible, any political party for that matter - I dislike them all equally.)

Example set by Kaldari

The Sunday supplement of the Marathi newspaper Sakal has started a new column – Navya VaaTaa – New Paths – that chronicles efforts taken by people to save energy. The snippets up till now used to contain items like how someone has modified a bike to run on electricity or a wind mill that powers the mechanism to water the farm. Yesterday’s snippet was worth taking a note though. The village of Kaldari (kaaL daree) located in the Purandhar taluka of the Pune district has taken a new step in becoming energy independent. The physical location of this village puts it in a deep valley that limits the natural light. The sunrise is late and sunset early. The MSEB supply is erratic and plagued with load shedding. The school kids had to complete their studies in lights powered by Kerosene and the village pretty much worked the schedule of the sun. But they decided to change the things. The local self government – Gram Panchayat – chipped in INR 8,000.00, the villagers chipped in INR 20,000.00, and a solar energy project took shape to power the school at night. More than 4.5 Lac have been spent up till now to power the local hospital, veterinary hospital, street lights and milk storage plant. Almost all the families now use biogas as energy required for cooking. Sun, Wind, Animal Waste – whatever natural resources could be used, have been used. Kaldari has set an example, it is hoped that more will follow.

P. S. If you can locate the link on Sakal website, let me know. The site somehow refuses to load...

Got Any More Bright !deas?

Cancellation of the Idea Celebrates Pune event was a refresher of news. For a change the notorious Patit Pawan Sanghatana was not fighting because “our” culture was in danger or because the length of a skirt was too short or an amorous message was printed on a greeting card! They were actually fighting because Idea Cellular, in cohorts with the pesky KISS FM style radio station Radio Mirchi was trying to do something that a normal person cannot even fathom! The reason was the Celebrate Pune event! Idea and Radio Mirchi have been trying to find a reason to woo customers, hence the reason for this event. Why complain though? After all, they have the right to attract customers, offer schemes, advertise at will and prosper in business. Every advertiser is trying to find an innovative way. Idea and Radio Mirchi thought it might be cool to hold events and because there was nothing much happening, the decided to create an event – Celebrate Pune! Call different DJs or singers, make people buy tickets, let them sing, dance, have some fun and make money out of it! They even composed a song about it where the water of Mula Mutha was called "Tirth". What’s wrong with this? Well – this is what is wrong with it…

The other day, while driving through already crowded morning traffic, we found one lane of the Sangam Bridge closed. For what? A makeshift stadium for the Celebrate Pune event! Arcades were erected on the JM Road, Bund Garden Road and Dhole Patil Road – blocking the traffic. We even talked about it – how could this be allowed – it is blocking the traffic. I guess normal people are boring because they worry about such things. Who ever thinks such things will block the traffic?

The event was to be concluded yesterday at a new venue – the Jayantrao Tilak Bridge. The bridge was closed to traffic from Friday. It is okay if our already choked and unruly traffic is further put to test because of this. Were proper permissions obtained? When the members of the Patit Pawan Sanghatana reached the venue demanding the proof of the permissions, the organizers could not produce any. Because there were none! Our question was answered – it was allowed because no one bothered to ask! The news item also had it that the speakers flouted the norms laid down by the Supreme Court to control noise pollution.

And this is from one of the large cellular providers and a radio station company that is soon going public! Do you people have no respect for the law of the land? How could you, Idea and Radio Mirchi – how could you do this to us?

Surprisingly, the overactive media did not bother to take note of this. Loksatta had detailed news on page 4 and Sakal, smaller news on Page 6 – places where people will not take pains to look. Indian Express did not find enough merit in publishing this. Very surprisingly, it appears the Pune Municipal Corporation and Pune University were also partners in the event. How could the PMC approve of holding an event on the bridge that is used by many for their daily commute? Allow it to remain closed for three days and not even bother to check if the necessary clearance has been obtained? Something is fishy here; this big a scam cannot be pulled unless it had a blessing from higher up.

Are we all so blinded by rampant consumerism that laws can be bypassed? If smaller companies can show this attitude towards the Corporate Social Responsibility, do we even try to find out what could be happening in the bigger companies?

I do not listen to Radio Mirchi anyways – not even if I am bored to death. May be now it is time to cancel the Idea subscription that my parents have.

Oh, and the money you made from the earlier Celebrate Pune event will be put to better use if your executives are given some classes in Corporate Social Responsibility. Think about it, that might actually be a better Idea.

W Reads my Blog!

Interesting news item this – Bush: US on verge of Energy Breakthrough. All he says is that would “startle” most Americans. Why, it startled me! The head honcho of the Oil Mafia is creating a whole new world! Where did he get this idea? Could it have been this post by yours truly?

One of the reasons W gives for reducing the use of Petroleum products is:

Some of these foreign suppliers have "unstable" governments that have fundamental differences with America, he said.

Compare that with yours truly:

Almost all of the Petrol/Diesel that we use is imported. This makes us invariably dependent on the countries whose policies are often hostile to our national integrity.

On non-conventional energy sources, W says:

Bush said he was impressed with the growing commercial uses of solar energy.

"Roof makers will one day be able to make a solar roof that protects you from the elements and at the same time, powers your house," Bush said. "The vision is this — that technology will become so efficient that you'll become a little power generator in your home, and if you don't use the energy you generate you'll be able to feed it back into the electricity grid."

Compare that with yours truly:

In the meantime, though, we should still propagate the usage of solar energy. Let every roof-top be of solar panels. What would that achieve?

1. Treat each building or house as a unit. The unit will install Solar Panels for energy creation. For example, even if the energy generated serves 20% (I am just making this number up, if it is more, even better) of energy needs of that unit, it will reduce the shortfall of energy.

Uncanny ha? May be he got the ideas after accidentally bumping into my blog while killing time in the Oval Office. May be he is as smart as I am! But what if, I am as dumb as he is?

Jokes aside – there has to be a serious attention towards the energy shortage and sustainability. One would hope the Energy Security policy that Dr. Manmohan Singh is busy formulating will go beyond the media-hype that W has created. But for once, we have something to be agreeable with the POTUS.

Shame on you Kaka

It has been a few days since the Shiv Sena attack on Zee Television for broadcasting the satire. And the controversy is behind us now, thanks to the mediation by the common friends. Although, I can’t help but comment on it. I happened to see the satire, barring a few disturbances from unscrupulous relatives calling during that time. But never mind that. Coming back to the satire, it left many thinking what was it that would agitate the Sainiks? And what was it that would make the Hindu Hriday Samrat appreciate the behavior of agitating Sainiks. The phrase “kaka malaa vachavaa” (uncle save me) has become a part of the language with a deep meaning to it.

For the benefit of those who are not aware of the history behind this phrase, the origin dates back to mid-to-late 1700s. Narayanrao was crowned the “Peshwa” much to the chagrin of his uncle. Uncle Raghobadada had his own aspirations and under the influence of his very aggressive wife Anadibai, Raghoba conspired to kill Narayanrao. Narayanrao had to run from his own body guards to save his life. He was eventually killed in an ambush, when he was running towards his uncle shouting “kaka malaa vachavaa” – a plea to his uncle to save his life. Raghoba was brought to justice and was given the capital punishment by the venerated Justice Ram Shashtri Prabhune (Later the sentence was reduced and Raghoba sent into exile.). The legend has it that Narayanrao’s ghost haunts the ruins of Shaniwar Wada even today and one can hear the cry of “kaka malaa vachavaa” echoing from the ruins.

Legends are legends – but since then, this phrase has represented betrayal and treachery. The satire was a representation of the condition of political scene we have today - betrayal and treachery. Is the Hindu Hriday Samrat not the uncle of the reneging Raj? Did he not favor his son over his nephew? Did the nephew not expect a fair treatment from his uncle? And didn’t the whole episode play out quite funnily when the aggression and taunting was at its height? What’s wrong if a little fun is made out of it? Is the Shiv Sena supremo so great that he be treated “holier than thou”?

And, as it has been pointed out ad infinitum, didn’t the Hindu Hriday Samrat start his career as a cartoonist and still claims that he is a cartoonist at heart? Has he not made fun of people in the past? Does he not still make derogatory and particularly insulting remarks about Narayan Rane, Sharad Pawar? But when the same or similar remarks are made about him, he and his followers are angry. If he had laughed with us all, people would have forgotten the satire…after all entertainment value of such satires are incidental and does not live long. But now, thanks to the agitations and Shiv Sena’s backing of it, this satire is going to live long enough to make sure more than deserved damage is made to the party.

And what is up with the Valentine’s Day violence? Our culture is not so weak that celebrating just one day a year after a long dead saint who tried to play cupid, will bring it down. And the funniest part of it was the apology by the Hindu Hriday Samrat because Sainiks hit the girls and women as well – which apparently is not okay. Excuse me? So, are we saying it is okay for the Sainiks to hit guys? Because last time I checked, our constitution did not discriminate on gender. If you are so trigger happy and like to hit someone, why be apologetic about it? What are you trying to do here by this apology? If you feel that somehow this apology will exonerate you of this crime, it will not. If you think, in a strange Orwellian sense, you are more equal than others…shame on you…

What would

Vice President Aaron Burr say to Vice President Dick Cheney?

Both the guys seem to have a many similarities in their personalities, but Cheney surely takes the cake in the modern days.

Three Frozen Moments

It was Sunday morning and I had stepped out to run some errands. There is this dark alley between the compound wall and club house that one has to go through while getting out. Well, it is really not a dark alley, but narrow it is for sure! Barely three feet wide – you have to say, “Excuse me” if you see someone approaching from the opposite side. I met someone who would perhaps not understand “excuse me” and that too in this narrow alley. It was a dog. Thanks to Maneka Gandhi’s anti-dog sterilization efforts, there are a lot many stray four legged friends than you would care for. Now, when I see a dog approaching, I try to ignore it and go my own way. Likewise, in this narrow alley, when I saw the dog approach, I stepped aside. Now, some of us are genetically programmed to yield to left, some to yield to right. Some of us have also reprogrammed ourselves to yield based on the country. So, I keep left, and yield so the dog would pass from the right. But the animal has other plans in mind. He (or it?) wants to have some fun. So the dog yields to HIS right, like someone from the other side of the Atlantic. We are in front of each other. So, I step to right, and try to move away from the dog’s path. The dog also steps aside – now to his left and is again in front of me! Well…I try to remember when I was potty trained last. Images of newspapers reporting, “Dog mauls man” start flashing in my mind. (Serious situations call for serious thinking.) So, I again step aside in the opposite direction and lo behold – the dog’s there. What is happening here? We seem to be performing waltz like the characters in Swan Lake…. I think the dog feels the scare in the eyes of a human. But surprisingly, it has adopted a submissive posture by now – stooping neck and lowered eyes. I am happy at least there is no snarl coming from him. But this time, I stand the ground. No more waltz with you dirty fella – I say to the dog. Taking a cue from my frozen figure, the dog steps aside and walks his way…whew!

Those three moments with a mongrel K9 seem like never ending bad dream. But my heart rate eventually returns to normal and I go about my business.

What is your clutter index?

I guess we need a new definition to gauge the progress and development of the society. It should depend on the amount of non-biodegradable waste we can generate in our day-to-day life. I would always be amazed by the by-products of grocery shopping in the US. A trip to Kroger’s or Jungle Jim’s would generate a lot of new plastic bags – in Midwest the baggers never asked paper or plastic – they just assumed plastic, unless you were buying wine or spirits! Then there were other items – the plastic can of milk and orange juice (sometimes a tetra pack) and the plastic bottles or cans of several carbonated beverages, yoghurt, the Styrofoam trays of meat and deli meat wrappers, the plastic wrappers of cookies, the cardboard containers of graham crackers and cereal and plastic bags of chips, Doritos, bagels etc. Add to that the flimsy plastic bags of green vegetables or fruit. After studying my erratic cooking patterns, I switched to using the frozen vegetables. The non-biodegradable index of garbage remained the same but the biodegradable surely reduced after the switch!

A trip to Food World recently reminded me of this garbage-business. Since parents are away, it is up to me to buy something, cook and feed myself. If you are my kind of shopper – no haggling, assume the quality is good, pay and get out of the shop – then probably Food World is the only place. So, off I go to Food World, armed with crisp notes from an ATM. I get the usual stuff and head home. Then the scrutiny starts – there are plastic bags of neatly wrapped tomatoes, some fresh cut ocra (lady fingers, bhindi) and fenugreek (?) (methi), a bag of onions, yoghurt can (dahi – mom’s not home, so need to buy yoghurt), two plastic bags containing fresh (but dead) Godrej chicken, a separate plastic bag for bread and some biscuits, cream biscuits (sandwich cookies) and light snack.

One trip to Food World and 213 less rupees in the pocket, I have amassed almost equivalent non-biodegradable waste I would after a trip to Kroger’s. I already start feeling guilty. Images of the flooded river Mithi haunt me.

The next week, I am a bit smarter and decide to buy the veggies in the conventional market. I know my father carries a cloth bag. I search for the bag at all conceivable places in home. I find the bag neatly folded along with several plastic bags in a kitchen cabinet. So, armed with the cloth bag, I go to the conventional market. I walk to the first shop, glance at a few veggies and start ordering – 250 gm Tomatoes, 500 gm onions, a bunch of spinach and 500 gm of peapods. After weighing everything, the vendoress pulled a plastic bag for all the veggies. I stopped her and handed over the cloth bag that was hidden in my pocket. With a couldn’t care less for it expression she took the bag and started putting the vegetables inside it. Now I feel all middle-aged eyes in the market on me: “Look, he did not even ask for the price!” “Oh my, that’s not 500 gm, and this guy – why is he shopping any way?” “Cloth bag? Cloth bag? – where did he come from?” But I brave it all, pay up and walk away self satisfied about my endeavor.

After a small trip to the Food World for other items, I return home. Enthusiastically I start cleaning the spinach and retrieving peas from the peapods. Soon, my garbage bag fills with all this biodegradable waste. But the joy is not long lasting. Other items have generated the equivalent amount of the non-biodegradable waste! Now, I face a predicament – here I am, shopping consciously and avoiding plastic bags, only to realize that the major component of it is still non-biodegradable! Seriously, what do I do with all those plastic bags now or after a few thousand years?!

Marathi Vyaparee (businessmen)

Maharashtrians like to ruminate – marathi loka dhandyaat mage kaa? (Why do we lack the business acumen? Or, why are we not great business men?) And mind you, this is Marathi mentality we are talking here. So we are not looking at building business empires directly, but may be sustaining a shop or making profits in a business run with help of 10-15 odd people. I think a large part of that is attitude. Don’t get me wrong – there are a few Marathi folks who are doing well in business, but overall, a Marathi man will prefer to work for someone else rather than take pains of working for himself. (The usage of male gender is for simplicity, do not want to go writing Marathi man or woman every where.) There is another facet to the attitude – how you treat your customer. As acclaimed writer PL Deshpande in his essay, on people from Mumbai, Pune and Nagpur points out, we consider the customer as the least important thing in the store.

So, what motivated this post? Well a difference in attitude by two different businessmen. At work, the quality of food is given utmost importance and any caterer is at risk of losing or termination of contract if people think they deserve better food. Now, it is a normal practice to not-like the cafeteria food. But there is really not-likeable and then there is okay-I-can’t-tolerate-this-food. And that’s what happened here and the old caterer was let go. After the new one came in, I started noticing the differences distinctly…

In the old style, the person who used to take money would stand there with a distinct expression that was something like – ale giLaayalaa! – A derogatory Marathi phrase that means these people do not deserve the food (and especially not at such low cost). The plates would be often times not dried, and it was left up to the eater to dry the plate….

Then there was the dilemma of empty containers that I never understood. Yes, when you keep a serving-bowl full of crunchy papads, people do take one or two extra. But this caterer had mastered the art of not letting people do that. Every time, there would be enough quantity in the serving bowl for only two people. So, I would always hesitate – if I take the papad, the next five people in the queue won’t have any…all right, skip the papad. It was later that I realized, if I had taken one piece, he would have added a couple more pieces from the other container that was deftly hidden from public view. But the ploy works – for those papad aficionados would satisfy themselves with not more than two pieces of papad otherwise risked making the serving bowl empty! Walha – we have saved some papads!

As you proceeded in the line, a person in caterer’s employ would serve the buffet items. He would serve enough to make it look enough, but not enough to satiate you by quantity. And since he would either start working on the next person in line or hide behind the counter, there was no way of asking for more.

By the time, you would have plate full of food, and walking towards a table, you would have the feeling of ale giLaayalaa all over again!

Also, even though vegetables are costly, doDhee-bhopaLaa (a vegetable in zucchini family, do not remember the English name) twice a week is not very appetizing for many (me included)! So isn’t the half-cooked rice and dal (split lentil curry) that would characteristically taste the same every day!

A couple of visits later to Yo! China and Veg Tadka restaurants, I took the easy way out! Now, my friend is on the food-committee, so pestering and whining has added advantage! At last, the caterer got the boot!

In came a Punjabi caterer the next day and we have been eating the food without complaints for more than past three weeks. Granted the honeymoon period is not over yet, but there are some differences to note. First of all, he shows the courtesy to treat his customers - well like customers! The person who takes your money has a God given gift of smiley face! Your first contact on the other side of the buffet does not make you feel guilty about eating! If by chance the plate is still dripping with water, he wipes it for you and mumbles an apology. The food items are much more tasty and choice of vegetables better. What I also liked is if the serving bowl is empty, it is because the food item is really over, not because the caterer is trying to save money. And the caterer feels genuinely bad about it – “aaj aap thoDa late aye sir” (we were almost winding down sir; it is tad late for you today) – he would say apologetically. And if you bump into the owner, he asks if everything is fine and if I have eaten properly giving it a motherly touch!

Now you tell me – which caterer would you prefer?

The Man Who Walked on MG Road

It was a lazy Saturday morning. My normal plans for weekend included running a few errands and then cozily watch some TV lying down on the sofa. I far from achieved anything that I planned, but the weekend was really good! While I was busy doing nothing, the phone rang. “Where are you? And why didn’t you call?” – demanded the voice from the other side of the line. There is a disadvantage to being the youngest among all cousins. They speak authoritatively and never treat you as if you were a grown up! I had forgotten that my cousin was going to come down. So, I changed all my plans (!) and went to visit her. After all the small-talk, big-talk and catching up, she mentioned her childhood friend is coming in the evening. Apparently, my cousin and this friend used to baby sit me in summer vacations when I was a toddler. But I couldn’t care less. After all, how much did it matter to me now?

Eventually the friend came in and we again sat for a casual chat - (re) introductions, exchanging pleasantries, small-talk, big-talk etc. After a while, the friend mentions: “ha kitee vegaLaa disato ataa!” (He looks so different now!) – pointing at me. My cousin agreed – “ho – amachya peksha ha sagaLyaat jasta badalalaa.” (yes, he is the one who changed so much.) My usual shrug, nod and smile technique did not work as the ladies persisted. This was the observation from a 45 something about a 30 something – in past 30 odd years she did not expect me to change?! And she was seeing me after so many years!

Cousin: We used to take you around for walks.
Friend: Yes, you were such a cute kid. (Oh my god – please, what did I do to deserve this assault? – I kept thinking.)

Both the ladies continued talking like lost in past. All of a sudden, my cousin turned around, looked me in the eyes and said, “That’s where you learned to walk! You started walking on MG Road!”

Now it was my time to be startled. I discovered a piece of my childhood that seemed surreal.

What's up Morarji?

Came across this article on Rediff. Still trying to figure out if Morarji was trying the snub the Soviets or was just acting like an old arrogant buffoon that he really was...

Missed Call

With a Caller ID available on the cell phones, the missed calls have become a language of there own…and since voicemail comes with a cost attached to it, it is almost unheard of. However, there is a breed of people who take offence at you not answering the phone. So, if they call, and you do not answer, they call again and again and again…. There was this newly married girl who used to sit about three cubicles away from me. She had her cell-phone ring set to the highest volume, phone inside the purse and purse inside the drawer. Invariably, she would forget to carry her phone to the cafeteria. Her devoted hubby would always call her during lunch time. As the luck would have it, her time to go for lunch coincided with me returning from lunch. I had to listen to the persistent Bollywood tunes daily – irritated me to the extent that I was ready to break open her drawer and purse and talk to her husband. My snide remarks eventually paid off and she started carrying the phone with her.

I was guilty of the same offence on Friday. Since it was rather nippy (by Pune standards), I was wearing a light spring jacket. The phone was in the jacket. I came to work, left the jacket on the chair and went for some breakfast and then for a casual chat with the team. After I returned to my desk, there was a weird buzz-hum sound coming from my chair. Yes, someone had called, and it was - kid-you-not - the 17th missed call in barely 30 minutes. Caller – I bow to thy calling (im)patience!

Subcontinental Drift?

This article in BW talks about how western 20 somethings are taking a chance by working in India for Indian call centers for some time. Apart from providing a more colloquial interface to customers in Europe, US many say, it also becomes a value-add on the resume for the candidates, opportunities of career advancement that are otherwise not available in their native land and a chance to see India.

Would have liked to see what the scenario is in other areas such as IT, BioTech and KPO – the other western looking export oriented industries. Sometime back, many big names in IT were wooing returning expats. But would a westerner like to come here – not as a client – stay for a year and do some serious programming/designing/testing for us?

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Did Star Trek shape the modern world?

This chain of thought was started while flipping channels on the TV when I saw the good old Captain Jean Luc Picard somewhere. I used to watch the original Star Trek, mostly because there was nothing much to watch at that time. I can hardly claim I understood everything at that time, but I was old enough to understand the possibilities of space travel (technology surely has not kept up with fiction!). Later I was introduced to the Star Trek TNG – the Next Generation – and started liking the new Captain, the new Number 1, not to mention the counselor, the tactical officer (before the Klingon took over) and the Doctor! The amount of philosophy fascinated me. The later versions of Star Trek Voyager and Star Trek Enterprise were also fascinating and philosophical. (Do they officially declare you a loser if you start finding philosophy in science fiction?)

A while back, while listening to the Morning Edition on NPR, they played a report on how Star Trek may have helped shape the modern world. The Star Trek started when the cold war was at its height. The Star Trek though propagated a view of a united world exploring limitless opportunities. The crew was all-inclusive with representation from Asia (Mr. Sulu) and the African-American community (The lady always had trouble hearing messages – was it the communication system or her ears? We will never know!). For Americans, who feared nuclear holocaust and cold war, this was a welcome respite. Moreover, while doing this, it sort-of maintained the American supremacy.

So, there you have it! In a fictitious future, the American way had succeeded, the world united and man going where no one had gone before! The commentator went on saying the African-American lady on the ship deck became a representation of American society that was still recovering from the ugly clutches of segregation. And the modern technology designs of many gadgets can find their roots in the Star Trek! Yes, some of the cell phones indeed look like Captain Kirk’s communicator – the ingenious designs of communicators using match boxes though were good fun while playing!

The TNG was a step ahead. The hunger was conquered and machines could make warm milk with a dash of nutmeg to your liking! Not only the Earth, but also the Galaxies and extra-terrestrial intelligent beings were at peace (were we still fighting Klingons then?). There was one episode, where some cryogenically sealed ‘humans’ from 20th century are somehow found by Captain Picard’s crew. After explaining them where they currently were – the investor among them is happy, because by now his shares of GE would have split many times to make him very rich! Captain Picard curtly explains him that there are no GE shares anymore because the man has no longer a need for money!

That is a bold concept! No one knows where we will be in the 2400s or what kind of society will it be. Although, if you watch Star Trek with a different perspective, is it not espousing the military? There is no place for civilian drama in Star Trek. Some sort of a military infrastructure controls everything. Star Trek does not fantasize about any kind of social behavior of the ‘new’ planet earth or other planets harboring intelligent life. And wherever it does, it only shows misery or vagabonds taken to ideologies that won’t work! How will the brave captains otherwise save lesser mortals?

Now, does that sound familiar? How will the brave captains in US save lesser mortals in Iraq? How will the brave captains in US save Venezuela from Chavez? How will the companies producing weapons save India from Pakistan and vice versa? Without a Patriot Act, how will America save itself? Does Star Trek, not very strangely, advocate something like this? A society - of the military, for the military and by the military…. Is Gene Roddenberry’s creation based on Dick Cheney-Donald Rumsfeld style of thinking? Or am I reading too much into this? After all, NPR was talking only of all representative American science fiction that liked peace and technology!

Two CIIs

When we talk of CII – it conjures, the image of an institution that is working hard to ensure the growth of Indian Industry and making sure the industries’ presence is felt world wide and with respect. But, to our west, on the other side of the border, CII means Council for Islamic Ideology. In a pseudo-democratic set up of Pakistan, organizations like CII have the power to review laws. The reason of this review is that the laws passed should not be repugnant to Islam. As if the Executive, the Legislature, the Judiciary and the Military were not sufficient in Pakistan, there is a fifth branch of the government!

Traffic Congestion

Stockholm is experimenting with charging drivers entering in to city center to reduce the number of vehicles and avoid traffic congestion. The traffic scenario in Pune is getting worse day by day and if Pune has to keep up, it needs to take some drastic steps early on. MG Road has already implemented the Fussgaengerzone. How about closing more roads to private vehicles and really supporting the PMT/PCMT for once? There is a lesson or two we can learn from other congested cities in the world - but if we are ready to keep our eyes and ears open and give up the coveted vehicle if need be...

University of Michigan's ban on Coca Cola Products

The news item related to University of Michigan's ban on Coca Cola products is commendable. Over the past few years, UMich has succeeded in providing a thought leadership and has made good name. So, something like this coming from UMich is surely a shot in the arm for many. Not to mention, they have also joined Rutgers and New York University and Coca Cola could be set back by about $1.4 Million.

After all, the agony of many living in perpetual water shortage and pollution because of the Coke plant has not gone unnoticed. Also the concerns raised about the pesticide content have never been answered satisfactorily. Contrary to what Amir Khan may claim, I would be still skeptical about the contents in a coke bottle. And if Coca Cola had actually done something to alleviate the fears and come clean about the content rather than spend lots of money on Amir Khan, it would have become worth drinking "sir ooThakey." In the Car Talk radio program, Ray and Tom Magliozzi (pronounced: maa lee yazzee) indeed offered the advice that a can of coke can be used to clean the rust on car batteries. Now, that's the stuff we drink! And don't even get me started on pH levels of diet coke.

An article in Indian Express, I believe reprinted from Newsweek(?), talks of Corporate Social Responsibility - and how Coke is not standing up to it. I am sure, many companies won't. But consumers can teach them a lesson...may be it is time we all stop drinking coke "sir ooThakey".