Too much Sherlock Holmes

You know you have been reading too much Sherlock Holmes stories if:

1. You associate the verb “to ejaculate” with expressions of Dr. Watson
2. You exclaim “dear me!” if someone does something that surprises you
3. You start using words like “hither”, “yonder” and expect everyone to understand the meaning!
4. You address your friends and colleagues as “my dear Kulkarni” – Kulkarni does not pay attention, because he thinks, only his father can be addressed that…

Gift? To Whom? And for what?

Sakal had a news item, with a picture – an idyllic road and some motorists and two-wheelers wheeling fast as the speed would allow. This was the flyover opposite to the E-Square multiplex on Ganeshkhind Road. The title of the news items said – People start using the road without ribbon cutting (or something like that, I have actually paraphrased the title). Excuse me? Ribbon cutting? Did I hear a dissenting voice that asked why the project was delayed by almost two years? Did I hear anyone ask about the quality of the material used? Did I hear anyone ask about the longevity and quality assurance certificate for the project? Did I hear anyone ask about the traffic woes everyone faced in last two years? Well, too many questions. While your brain is busy processing these questions, here’s some more – information this time. Someone had a brilliant idea; why not do the ribbon cutting on 12-Dec, which happens to be the birthday of the Duke of Baramati and the Great Maratha, Sharad Pawar. This will be a unique gift to the duke. S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.C.Y!

M-W defines Sycophancy as:

Function: noun

: obsequious flattery; also : the character or behavior of a sycophant

And sycophant as:

Function: noun

Etymology: Latin sycophanta slanderer, swindler, from Greek sykophantEs slanderer, from sykon fig + phainein to show -- more at FANCY

: a servile self-seeking flatterer

What has the Duke’s birthday got anything to do with this? But in Indian politics, you are not loyal if you do not wish the great leader on hiser birthday. Those kickbacks, large contracts, chairmanship of some cooperative organization, appointment as minister – no things come on merit and every aspiring politician – even the galli-ka-goonda knows it. So, the flyover was dedicated to the Duke! Now, if the Pune Municipal Corporation wants to reimburse my tax money, I will be more than happy to not use that road.

Up till here, it was written yesterday, on the Duke’s birthday, but never published. Whatever happened between then and now, makes me shiver with disgust. I started for home, unmindful of the fact that it was jaNata rajaa’s birthday. I covered a distance of good 3 kilometers, until I came to an intersection where a police stopped the traffic on my road and let people from another road turn to their right. Then, for 8 long minutes, none of the three police men bothered about the building traffic on my road. They alternately allowed the other two roads to clear. And the reason for the traffic jam? Well, sahebancha vaaDhdivas. A bunch of party-workers was dancing to the tune of Himesh Reshamiya blaring at several decibels that made even the rear-view mirror in my car vibrate. Perhaps Himesh’s teraa teraa teraa kasoor…couldn’t have been more apt. Only yesterday afternoon, R and I had had a long talk. Career, family, life in India, life in the US…kashalaa parat alaas tu (why did you return?) he had asked (he also did the same thing, for almost similar reasons). Now that question reverberated in my ears louder than Himesh.

There is a Marathi word – aagpaKhad – I am not sure how to translate it. It is more like the weird feeling you get out of immense anger, but you are unable to do anything about it, not even vent it in a logical or illogical manner. That’s what happened last night. And all because the Duke was born on this day!

Now, if you wish, refer to the definition of anarchy here. And while you are at it, also look at the definition of oligarchy.

The funniest thing happened today morning though. There was a news item in Sakal that said the Agriculture College Flyover was hastily inaugurated even when the construction is not complete. Good gift for you Sharad Pawar!

p.s. Can someone also explain me why Suresh Kalmadi is not being tried for voluntary manslaughter for the deaths caused because of his hasty-decisions on the BRT project?

Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems

Came across this interesting Blog post http://ashujo.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-happened-to-see-crichtons-state-of.html by Ashutosh Jogalekar. Reminds me of a certain scientist from Florence…Galileo wrote a book Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems to compare the Copernican model and Ptolemaic model that explain the motion of planets, sun, earth etc. According to Dava Sobel, after a long-winded analysis, Galileo has concluded that Ptolemy is correct but left the reader convinced that it is Copernicus! Galileo could not have officially concluded otherwise. And even with this, he faced inquisition, found this book in the list of forbidden books and was convicted of grave suspicion to heresy. How times have changed – from punishing truth as heresy to propagating fiction as truth.

(Note: For more information and if you have the enthusiasm, please look up for Galileo's book on Wiki, there is a lot of information there or read Dava Sobel's Galileo's Daughter.)

Fate

Got to read an interesting item:

Once upon a time, there was a man who was traveling from his village to the city for some work. It was a hot day and this man was thirsty and tired. So he starts looking for a water source. After long and arduous walk under the blazing sun, he finds a well. He drinks the water to quench his thirst and sleeps beside the well to gather his strength.

After a while, his Fate walks over and wakes him up. Fate says, “You fool, get away from the well and sleep somewhere else. Otherwise, you will rollover in your sleep and fall in the well and everyone will blame me.”

Not Without My Daughter

I needed to do something, for I was bored of doing nothing. There was lot of cleaning still to be done. I ruffled through raddi - old newspapers that sell for kilos - and found two Marathi books which were not a part of the raddi, but kept there nevertheless. Both the books had pretentious English titles one on Reflexology and the other “Not Without My Daughter”. The latter was a gift from my sister to my father. The unread copy of the book with plastic cover and all was gathering dust. Days without TV (it's all going to change, I just have to decide if it is going to be cable or dish and then I will be back to complaining I don't read as much) renew my attention to books. Well, Not Without My Daughter it is then I said to myself and picked the book and sat on the kitchen chair.

From 10:30 in the night to 4:45 the next morning I read continuously, so gripping it was. Betty Lover of Michigan had married a brilliant engineer AND a doctor, a passionate and devoted man of Iranian origin - Dr. Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody a.k.a. Moody. Her two weeks vacation along with her and Moody's five year old daughter Mahtob to Iran turns into a year-and-a-half long nightmare under virtual house arrest. Moody changes terribly after coming to Iran and does not want Betty and Mahtob to return to the US. According to the Iranian laws, marrying an Iranian automatically makes Betty a naturalized Iranian and their daughter a property of her father and father only. Betty plans her escape along with her daughter and is successful eventually.

Those were the days of mid-1980s, 84-85 to be precise - Reagan era in America, abdication of the Shah of Iran is still fresh in the memory and establishment of the power of the Ayatollah and radical Islam in Iran. Those were the days of Iran-Iraq war, death and destruction. Those were the days of renewed and persistent calls for death to America. It is in this environment that Betty and Mahtob find themselves clad in a chador - the veil, little freedom, no loved ones around and under watchful eyes of Moody and his family lest they run away.

Betty's ingenuity is commendable. More commendable is her endurance and steadfastness. She does not breakdown like her American acquaintance that accepts her husband as her protector, Koran as the last word and resigns herself to her fate. Physical and mental agonies do not describe the 300 odd pages. Since her husband was her owner now, no one interferes in his violent fits leaving Betty to her fate.

Reading the book in the post 9/11 days and Bush policies though gives you a different perspective. The book is full of hatred toward Iran and Iranian people. Well, under the circumstances it may even be justified. Archaic laws, inhuman treatment and domestic violence that Betty and Mahtob suffered and overall state of the society in Iran does not call for mild words. But it is interesting to note a few things. While Betty blames everything on retrogressive laws and radical implementation of Islam, Moody blames everything on duplicitous policies of the US. Who is more correct? Makes you think, doesn't it?

Some other observations are also interesting. Betty finds homes and especially kitchens of all her Iranian relatives very dirty - infested with cockroaches and all. As a rule, women did not clean the meat or rice before cooking and no one found it wrong to eat cooked larvae (porkiDee aNi aLyaa in Marathi) that came along with your rice, wastage of food, especially sugar was gallore. Cleanliness in shops and bakeries was limited and bathrooms and restrooms were unsuable because of stench and lack of hygiene. Betty complains about size of Turkey (one Thanksgiving that she hosted), taste of strawberries, Iranian bread and everything. May be it is me - for I may try to look for the other side of the coin - but I find it difficult to accept everything at face value. Or may be it is just the anger venting. It also appears that Betty never tried to integrate with her Iranian relatives - even during the peaceful two week vacation period. Of course, treatment given to Betty for the rest of her stay seems to have made her sore. And to be fair, she has kind words for those who helped her and those who felt genuinely sorry for her condition but were helpless. Betty also acknowledges that not every Iranian was bad, after all.

On another note, looks like radical Islam is making in roads in to India too. The All India Muslim Personal Law Board and the Shi'a Personal Law Board have published revised codes of conduct and nikahnama - nuptial agreement - with some disturbing changes from what I read. Razia Patel writing for the Sakal describes some of it. The law board seems to have taken away women's right to go to court over divorce. Following the nikahnama means you relinquish your right to go to court and the right to arbitration rests with the male dominated law board. We seem to have taken lot of steps in wrong direction since Shah Bano case. Women's organizations' demands like right to alimony, mothers' right to children, governmental registration of wedding and divorce have been ignored. The much touted women's right to file for divorce, that the law board calls progressive step, the columnist claims has been around since the 1939 code. Some steps already taken by many other Islamic countries like no polygamy or permission from the court before second marriage, no verbal divorce etc. have also been ignored. One more step in the wrong direction. And we will be a developed country!